What the Critics Are Saying...
"...Smith treats his heavy topic with a light hand, offering plenty of stories to illustrate the lessons he wants us to learn. But this is not an airy, “Can’t we all just get along?” message.
"Instead of simply teaching us how to react to, and defend ourselves in, a violent situation, Smith wants us to be proactive. He wants us to prevent violence—and to pursue peaceful resolution if violence occurs..."
Read more of Safe Home Magazine's review of
Surviving Aggressive People
"Who would ever want to boost the self-respect
of an overly aggressive person? Violence-prevention expert Shawn
Smith, for one. Why? Because, Smith says, the probability of violence
escalates when shame, guilt, or humiliation undermine an aggressive
persons ego. He advocates--and teaches--a stance that lessens
that probability without appeasing bad behavior. Like Gandhi he
trains warriors to disarm their opponents with respect
rather than conventional force, using soft rather than hard approaches
to violence prevention. His practical psychology rings true; Smith
has accumulated years of experience confronting and defusing violence
in bars, streets, and rehabilitation programs. He is also a student
of martial arts.
"The book has four parts: The Ground Rules;
Desperate Aggression (and responses of listening, empathizing
and providing options); Expert Aggression (which includes terrorism);
and The Path to Peace. To oversimplify somewhat, the difference
between desperate and expert aggressors is the difference between
people who feel like victims and people who prey upon those who
act like victims. Smith offers ideas and techniques to deal with
both types. This book is essentially about two life-saving
ideas. First is the ability to recognize impending hostility.
Second is the willingness to act early...
"Smith uses apt anecdotes and a narrative
style that keeps the reader eager, awake, and open to turning
old saws into new tools of conflict resolution, e.g. how to maintain
boundaries with gentle, confident strength; how to set limits
while offering a reasonable option. Smith says that his method
builds on things that reside unused in corners of the mind. Only
when we havent exercised our knowledge of human behavior
do attackers seem to strike out of the blue. The truth
is, violence is almost always preceded by warning signs.
A moments thought is enough to realize that calm down!
and other scolding and belittling are bad habits that turn annoyances
into real problems. A few hours of training may make a huge difference,
providing sensible alternatives that turn dangerous situations
into peaceful outcomes. Smith provides scenarios that groups (as
few as three) can use for role-play exercise.
"Smith has read widely and cites excellent
resources. Missing, unfortunately is any reference to Gandhian
psychology or the excellent books on Verbal Self-Defense by linguist
Suzette Haden Elgin. Nonetheless, this book will earn a place
with the all-too-few great practical writings on preventing and
managing aggression in many contexts."
E. James Lieberman,
Foreword Magazine
"An easy to read, hand-ons approach to de-escalate
and avoid dangerous encounters.
"Social services, health care and government
workers can use these realistic and practice measures to maintain
control of hostile situations and survive aggressive individuals.
Applicable to personal, professional and everyday encounters of
threats of violence."
Johnny Lee,
Workplace Violence Specialist, North Carolina Office of State
Personnel
"...Just wanted to give you some feedback about the training I gave utilising your desperate aggressor and expert aggressor definitions and strategies. I just wanted to thank you so much – the training was an enormous success and really hit the mark. I administered a questionnaire before the training to see how confident the staff were about dealing with aggressive clients and I will send them a follow-up questionnaire in a few weeks to see how they’re tracking.
I just spoke to the team leader and she said that one staff member has already used the ‘expert aggressor strategy’ and it worked perfectly. She also said that the training feedback was unanimously good and in her experience that was unheard of!
If there is any way I can help to further spread your ideas Downunder, just let me know."
Kind regards,
Christine Brown, Austrailia
"Reading Shawn Smith's section on the 'testing rituals'
of Expert Aggressors, I was fascinated to recognize people I had
in fact encountered, and some simple methods and useful phrases
for extricating myself in the future. A valuable piece of assertiveness
training."
George J. Leonard, Professor of Interdisciplinary Humanities,
San Francisco State University; author, Into the Light of
Thing
"I thoroughly enjoyed your book. I found it very helpful
and clear. I especially enjoyed the section in which you address
the expert aggressor, as that is what I want to focus my training
on
Even though we will be spending some time on physical
self-defense, I want to emphasis to my clients that prevention
is better than the cure, because the scary reality is that once
you are in a physical encounter, there are no guarantees
"I also found your book to be a refreshing read as I
have read and reviewed so much stuff in my quest to become more
educated on this very complicated subject, and have been sorely
disappointed in what is out there. I just recently purchased a
video on self-defense that offers "all you need to know to
get out of any situation." It fell seriously short
"I will be recommending my clients to buy your book.
I am also talking to my Dojo about making it a required read for
our new students, as everyone could benefit greatly from it.
"Anyway, what's the bottom line? I loved your book!"
Yvette Garfield
Instructor, A.C.K. Institute of Martial Arts
Glendale, California
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