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What the Critics Are Saying... "...Smith treats his heavy topic with a light hand, offering plenty of stories to illustrate the lessons he wants us to learn. But this is not an airy, “Can’t we all just get along?” message. "Instead of simply teaching us how to react to, and defend ourselves in, a violent situation, Smith wants us to be proactive. He wants us to prevent violence—and to pursue peaceful resolution if violence occurs..." Read more of Safe Home Magazine's review of Surviving Aggressive People "Who would ever want to boost the self-respect of an overly aggressive person? Violence-prevention expert Shawn Smith, for one. Why? Because, Smith says, the probability of violence escalates when shame, guilt, or humiliation undermine an aggressive person’s ego. He advocates--and teaches--a stance that lessens that probability without appeasing bad behavior. Like Gandhi he trains “warriors” to disarm their opponents with respect rather than conventional force, using soft rather than hard approaches to violence prevention. His practical psychology rings true; Smith has accumulated years of experience confronting and defusing violence in bars, streets, and rehabilitation programs. He is also a student of martial arts. "The book has four parts: The Ground Rules; Desperate Aggression (and responses of listening, empathizing and providing options); Expert Aggression (which includes terrorism); and The Path to Peace. To oversimplify somewhat, the difference between desperate and expert aggressors is the difference between people who feel like victims and people who prey upon those who act like victims. Smith offers ideas and techniques to deal with both types. This book “is essentially about two life-saving ideas. First is the ability to recognize impending hostility. Second is the willingness to act early...” "Smith uses apt anecdotes and a narrative style that keeps the reader eager, awake, and open to turning old saws into new tools of conflict resolution, e.g. how to maintain boundaries with gentle, confident strength; how to set limits while offering a reasonable option. Smith says that his method builds on things that reside unused in corners of the mind. “Only when we haven’t exercised our knowledge of human behavior do attackers seem to strike ‘out of the blue.’ The truth is, violence is almost always preceded by warning signs.” A moment’s thought is enough to realize that “calm down!” and other scolding and belittling are bad habits that turn annoyances into real problems. A few hours of training may make a huge difference, providing sensible alternatives that turn dangerous situations into peaceful outcomes. Smith provides scenarios that groups (as few as three) can use for role-play exercise. "Smith has read widely and cites excellent resources. Missing, unfortunately is any reference to Gandhian psychology or the excellent books on Verbal Self-Defense by linguist Suzette Haden Elgin. Nonetheless, this book will earn a place with the all-too-few great practical writings on preventing and managing aggression in many contexts."
"An easy to read, hand-ons approach to de-escalate and avoid dangerous encounters. "Social services, health care and government workers can use these realistic and practice measures to maintain control of hostile situations and survive aggressive individuals. Applicable to personal, professional and everyday encounters of threats of violence."
"Reading Shawn Smith's section on the 'testing rituals' of Expert Aggressors, I was fascinated to recognize people I had in fact encountered, and some simple methods and useful phrases for extricating myself in the future. A valuable piece of assertiveness training."
"I thoroughly enjoyed your book. I found it very helpful and clear. I especially enjoyed the section in which you address the expert aggressor, as that is what I want to focus my training on… Even though we will be spending some time on physical self-defense, I want to emphasis to my clients that prevention is better than the cure, because the scary reality is that once you are in a physical encounter, there are no guarantees… "I also found your book to be a refreshing read as I have read and reviewed so much stuff in my quest to become more educated on this very complicated subject, and have been sorely disappointed in what is out there. I just recently purchased a video on self-defense that offers "all you need to know to get out of any situation." It fell seriously short… "I will be recommending my clients to buy your book. I am also talking to my Dojo about making it a required read for our new students, as everyone could benefit greatly from it. "Anyway, what's the bottom line? I loved your book!"
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